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Experts Decode What Putin’s Bromantic Letter To Trump Really Said, It’s Hilarious And Scary

Ruthless ex-KGB agent Vladimir Putin is such a nice guy and likes Donald Trump so much that he went out of his way to send him a really kind letter to mark the Christmas holiday. At least, that’s the way that pathologically insecure narcissist Donald Trump sees it (which is exactly how Putin wanted him to see it).

In truth, there are plenty of other things going on beneath the surface and between the lines of Putin’s otherwise dippy-seeming letter. “His thoughts are so correct. I hope both sides are able to live up to these thoughts, and we do not have to travel an alternative path,” said Trump, mis-reading the letter. Here’s what the letter actually means (translated from the original KGB-ese).

It starts, “Dear Useful Idiot, Please accept this public offering of superficial friendship that is sure to help convince a narcissistic fool obsessed with appearances such as yourself that I am actually your friend. Our countries have serious global and regional challenges to face in the coming years, the majority of which I am responsible for in the first place and will continue to exacerbate in the coming months.”

Putin continues, I look forward to you becoming the President of the United States, since an ignorant and easily manipulatable dunce like you presents significantly less opposition to my plans to recreate the Soviet Empire in my own image, foster authoritarianism and corruption around the world, make myself the richest person on the planet, and needlessly slaughter Syrian children for the hell of it. I could not be happier to watch a hated enemy destroy itself from the inside, which the United States will surely do under your tiny-fingered stewardship. СУКА БЛЯТЬ, Vladimir Putin.” Did you get that (where Trump didn’t)? See original below:

 

 

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