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Trump Released Band List For his Inauguration, You’ll Crack Up So Hard At These F-Listers

One of the most laughable and telling developments from Idiocracy-worthy President-Elect Donald Trump’s transition phase has been his utter inability to attract any worthwhile celebrities whatsoever to perform at his inauguration.

It is very clear that, whether for ideological or career-preserving purposes, nobody wants to get anywhere near toxic Trump and his mandate-less coronation.

According to reports, Trump fired a number of people who he hired specifically to lure the kind of “A-list” performing talent that he’s been seeking. Trump has, according to sources, been offering sky-high financial rewards and even promises of ambassadorships (which may be illegal) to musicians to perform, but so far all these efforts have been in vain. Explained the Dixie Chicks’ manager Simon Renshaw, “If anyone does do it, I hope that the check that they get is in the nine figures. Because it’s probably the last check they’re ever going to get.”

Trump’s team finally released the bill of performers slated for his Inaugural Ball, and it is truly painful. Says the music website Consequence of Sound about the line-up: “…they’ve got Nashville singer-songwriter Beau Davidson, who will be performing music from his latest album, The American Gentleman; The Reagan Years, one of the HOTTEST ’80s cover bands who only perform music released during Ronald Regan’s presidency; and a wedding band called The Mixx; plus DJ sets by DJ Romin, DJ Young Rye, DJ Flow, and — my personal fav — DJ Freedom. The Star Spangled Singers will also take the stage to serenade party-goers with uplifting, patriotic songs and instrumentals.” How wretched is this line-up?

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